Reply to topic  [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Not just any old Amazon delivery rep. 
Author Message
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
Let me set the scene. Here in Liverpool we have three bins, a grey one for general waste, a green one for garden waste, and a brown one for cardboard, tin cans and the like. I imagine most people have a similar arrangement. Today is brown bin day so last night I trundled my brown bin up my front path, and put it on the pavement outside my house because sometimes the Council guys come early.

This morning I am upstairs, sitting at my desk in my study, continuing my listing of the serials in MANDY destined for BUNTY AND HER SISTERS, when an Amazon employee turns up with a parcel, which contains Christmas presents, three books for Aurora and a boxed game for Kelsey. Tomorrow I will be parcelling them up separately, and posting them to Maria, who will put them away until Christmas Eve. However, the girls will be very lucky indeed to be getting these presents because I didn't hear the bell or any knocking on the front door when the delivery arrived. I only became aware of the matter when I popped down to make a cup of coffee, and while the kettle was boiling I went into the porch to see if the postman had been. He hadn't, but there was a card left by an Amazon employee stating that they had left the parcel in the safe place you told us about. Actually I have never suggested any safe place to anyone, and if I had, it would not have been where they actually put it. Normally, under similar circumstances the Amazon or Parcelforce employee will push it under the front of my car if it's there, a position where it will not be visible from the pavement or the road. On other occasions they might go through the gate into the side garden, and place it out of sight between any two of the bins.

You've already guessed what this employee did, haven't you? That's because you are more intelligent than the Amazon employee. It couldn't possibly be otherwise. Yes, you're right, bang on the money. The safe place that this Amazon employee chose was.............yes, the brown bin. :headbash: :censored:


Tue Dec 12, 2017 3:46 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 4128
Location: space city
Reply with quote
Had he known they were Christmas presents perhaps he might have pushed them down your chimbley.


Tue Dec 12, 2017 4:10 pm
Profile
Mr Valeera
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:06 pm
Posts: 3469
Location: Lost in time, lost in space
Reply with quote
You will probably find that the delivery driver was not from Amazon but from a third party delivery company such as Yodel, UPS or Fedex.

_________________
I started to say something sensible but my parents took over my brain!


Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:21 pm
Profile WWW
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
If I remember rightly, Steve, my semi was built in the mid-sixties, about fifty years old therefore. As a consequence it does have a chimbley, although the only smoke that goes up it emerges from a gas fire. Central heating from a Worcester boiler warms up the rest of the house via radiators when I require it to do so.
colcool007 wrote:
You will probably find that the delivery driver was not from Amazon but from a third party delivery company such as Yodel, UPS or Fedex.
There is no need to over-complicate the issues, Col. The card through the door is from Amazon Logistics, on which the person who delivered the package to my brown bin wrote 'IN BROWM BIM THX. He/She was probably a Martian on minimum wage rushing to get to his/her second job just to get enough money to make ends meet. The gig economy has a lot to answer for.

It's not my day. There's a mistake in The Guardian. Across the centre pages there is a colour photo of a steam engine, number 45407, pulling some passenger coaches somewhere in the Scottish Highlands. The caption identifies it as Lancashire Fusilier. However, 45407 didn't have a name. Lancashire Fusilier is/was 46119. You really would think though, wouldn't you, that The Guardian would have the full set of Ian Allan's The ABC of British Railways Locomotives in its library!


Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:55 pm
Profile
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
I've been puzzling over that Amazon parcel all day, largely because although I have ordered a good few items on line for Christmas presents, I just couldn't recall those specific items, appropriate though they would be for Aurora and Kelsey. I have always had a bad memory. My father regularly used to say, "Your memory wouldn't carry you to the foot of our stairs, our Derek", but lately it has been getting worse. By worse I am not referring to that situation that happens to all of us when going upstairs and stopping on the landing to ask ourselves ''what on earth have I come upstairs for?'' It's some degrees worse than that, but it's an irritant rather than a problem, like going out in the morning to the local Coop to get The Guardian and remembering that I haven't taken that day's official voucher out with me so I have to go back home for it. This is by no means a regular event but it does happen from time to time.

About an hour ago I looked at the items again, and took all the packaging out of the box. It was when I turned the box over that I saw the name and address of the people who had actually ordered the items. Jenny and Martin live at number 3 in the neighbouring court, the pathway to which starts at the side of my property, and continues on two other sides. I live at number 3 on my road. They have a two-year-old daughter. The three large books and the boxed toy are for her Christmas. I took them round.

I think I need to go to bed now. Bunty And Her Sisters can go on the back burner for a week or two. Actually it can go there till I get back from Cornwall in January. I just need a long rest. I'll take a few novels down there with me to chill out with, and I'll be out and about with Lois and Alex quite a bit during their school holidays. I'll lunch most days in the White Hart in Hayle. I might even take my great granddaughter Ava out for a constitutional or two along the sea front at Penzance, well wrapped up of course. Her not me.


Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:16 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 4128
Location: space city
Reply with quote
By a strange quirk of fate an Amazon package has just come through my letter box. Years ago our flat was the only no. 20 in this street but lots of new flats have been built recently and, consequently, there are now three no. 20s. This is for flat 20 over the road. No idea who is responsible for door numbering but they are great nits.

All the other flats have those security entrances so you have to speak to the flat over a speaker before they will open the Rory O'Moore. A couple of years ago I got through the gate which closed behind me but couldn't get out again. I contemplated scaling it but managed to get it open. (After ten minutes of pushing I finally realised you pulled it). (Sickly grin).


Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:16 pm
Profile

Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2015 4:41 pm
Posts: 430
Location: UK
Reply with quote
Oh blimey to this entire thread!

_________________
jintycomic.wordpress.com/ Excellent and weird stories from the past - with amazing art to boot.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:14 pm
Profile WWW
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
stevezodiac wrote:
the Rory O'Moore
I assume that this is meant to be Cockney rhyming slang for 'door', Steve, but if it is, it doesn't work, does it? We don't say 'I'll just shut the doory', nor do we pronounce 'door' like 'poor'.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:29 pm
Profile
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
comixminx wrote:
Oh blimey to this entire thread!
What's wrong with it? You don't have to contribute to it, comixminx, or even pay any attention to it. It is at least in the correct Non-comics discussion category, and if a day ever arrives when I have to ask myself before posting a comment, "Will this upset comixminx?", or anybody else for that matter, my next action will be to collect my hat and coat. That day will never arrive of course because I plough my own furrow, as I have done for many a long year. End of!! :roll:


Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:00 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 4128
Location: space city
Reply with quote
In London door does rhyme with poor. What does it rhyme with in Liverpool?

I exercise freedom of choice most days. I like talksport but switch off at 4pm each day rather than endure Darren Gough. Likewise Andy Goldstein and Jason Cundy in the evenings.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:39 pm
Profile
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
stevezodiac wrote:
In London door does rhyme with poor. What does it rhyme with in Liverpool?
To be honest I've no idea, Steve. It does rhyme with 'poor' in Lancashire, and Liverpool was part of Lancashire until some jobsworth decided to create Merseyside.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:55 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 4128
Location: space city
Reply with quote
I sometimes wonder if Man. United and Man. City are classed as Lancashire clubs along with all the Bs Blackpool, Bury, Burnley, Bolton and Blackburn.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:07 pm
Profile
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
stevezodiac wrote:
I sometimes wonder if Man. United and Man. City are classed as Lancashire clubs along with all the Bs Blackpool, Bury, Burnley, Bolton and Blackburn.
Well I always think of them as Lancashire clubs but now we seem to have to bear in mind the Greater Manchester classification, which would certainly remove both Manchester clubs, Bury and Bolton from Lancashire. Over on the Fylde Coast, Blackpool are also not seen as a Lancashire club in the same way as they were up to the fifties and sixties. Preston North End, Burnley and Blackburn Rovers still are though. Mind you, historically and still to this day, Burnley and Blackburn's supporters would cheerfully murder each other. The late Victor Collinge's widow Carol, would support my view. She goes to every Burnley home game by renewing Victor's season ticket. I haven't spoken to her for two or three months. I'll ring her at home before I go to Cornwall for Christmas.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:46 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 4128
Location: space city
Reply with quote
I forgot Rotherham. Been there a couple of times following Millwall. Back in my youth.


Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:44 pm
Profile
Guru

Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:15 pm
Posts: 4791
Reply with quote
stevezodiac wrote:
I forgot Rotherham. Been there a couple of times following Millwall. Back in my youth.
Maybe that's because Rotherham is in Yorkshire. :)


Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:48 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by ST Software.