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Comics UK - View topic - Not just any old Amazon delivery rep.

 




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Not just any old Amazon delivery rep. 
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Let me set the scene. Here in Liverpool we have three bins, a grey one for general waste, a green one for garden waste, and a brown one for cardboard, tin cans and the like. I imagine most people have a similar arrangement. Today is brown bin day so last night I trundled my brown bin up my front path, and put it on the pavement outside my house because sometimes the Council guys come early.

This morning I am upstairs, sitting at my desk in my study, continuing my listing of the serials in MANDY destined for BUNTY AND HER SISTERS, when an Amazon employee turns up with a parcel, which contains Christmas presents, three books for Aurora and a boxed game for Kelsey. Tomorrow I will be parcelling them up separately, and posting them to Maria, who will put them away until Christmas Eve. However, the girls will be very lucky indeed to be getting these presents because I didn't hear the bell or any knocking on the front door when the delivery arrived. I only became aware of the matter when I popped down to make a cup of coffee, and while the kettle was boiling I went into the porch to see if the postman had been. He hadn't, but there was a card left by an Amazon employee stating that they had left the parcel in the safe place you told us about. Actually I have never suggested any safe place to anyone, and if I had, it would not have been where they actually put it. Normally, under similar circumstances the Amazon or Parcelforce employee will push it under the front of my car if it's there, a position where it will not be visible from the pavement or the road. On other occasions they might go through the gate into the side garden, and place it out of sight between any two of the bins.

You've already guessed what this employee did, haven't you? That's because you are more intelligent than the Amazon employee. It couldn't possibly be otherwise. Yes, you're right, bang on the money. The safe place that this Amazon employee chose was.............yes, the brown bin. :headbash: :censored:


12 Dec 2017, 15:46
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Had he known they were Christmas presents perhaps he might have pushed them down your chimbley.


12 Dec 2017, 16:10
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Mr Valeera
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You will probably find that the delivery driver was not from Amazon but from a third party delivery company such as Yodel, UPS or Fedex.

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12 Dec 2017, 18:21
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12 Dec 2017, 18:55
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I've been puzzling over that Amazon parcel all day, largely because although I have ordered a good few items on line for Christmas presents, I just couldn't recall those specific items, appropriate though they would be for Aurora and Kelsey. I have always had a bad memory. My father regularly used to say, "Your memory wouldn't carry you to the foot of our stairs, our Derek", but lately it has been getting worse. By worse I am not referring to that situation that happens to all of us when going upstairs and stopping on the landing to ask ourselves ''what on earth have I come upstairs for?'' It's some degrees worse than that, but it's an irritant rather than a problem, like going out in the morning to the local Coop to get The Guardian and remembering that I haven't taken that day's official voucher out with me so I have to go back home for it. This is by no means a regular event but it does happen from time to time.

About an hour ago I looked at the items again, and took all the packaging out of the box. It was when I turned the box over that I saw the name and address of the people who had actually ordered the items. Jenny and Martin live at number 3 in the neighbouring court, the pathway to which starts at the side of my property, and continues on two other sides. I live at number 3 on my road. They have a two-year-old daughter. The three large books and the boxed toy are for her Christmas. I took them round.

I think I need to go to bed now. Bunty And Her Sisters can go on the back burner for a week or two. Actually it can go there till I get back from Cornwall in January. I just need a long rest. I'll take a few novels down there with me to chill out with, and I'll be out and about with Lois and Alex quite a bit during their school holidays. I'll lunch most days in the White Hart in Hayle. I might even take my great granddaughter Ava out for a constitutional or two along the sea front at Penzance, well wrapped up of course. Her not me.


12 Dec 2017, 23:16
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By a strange quirk of fate an Amazon package has just come through my letter box. Years ago our flat was the only no. 20 in this street but lots of new flats have been built recently and, consequently, there are now three no. 20s. This is for flat 20 over the road. No idea who is responsible for door numbering but they are great nits.

All the other flats have those security entrances so you have to speak to the flat over a speaker before they will open the Rory O'Moore. A couple of years ago I got through the gate which closed behind me but couldn't get out again. I contemplated scaling it but managed to get it open. (After ten minutes of pushing I finally realised you pulled it). (Sickly grin).


13 Dec 2017, 15:16
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Oh blimey to this entire thread!

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13 Dec 2017, 18:14
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13 Dec 2017, 18:29
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13 Dec 2017, 19:00
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In London door does rhyme with poor. What does it rhyme with in Liverpool?

I exercise freedom of choice most days. I like talksport but switch off at 4pm each day rather than endure Darren Gough. Likewise Andy Goldstein and Jason Cundy in the evenings.


13 Dec 2017, 19:39
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13 Dec 2017, 20:55
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I sometimes wonder if Man. United and Man. City are classed as Lancashire clubs along with all the Bs Blackpool, Bury, Burnley, Bolton and Blackburn.


13 Dec 2017, 21:07
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13 Dec 2017, 21:46
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I forgot Rotherham. Been there a couple of times following Millwall. Back in my youth.


13 Dec 2017, 22:44
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13 Dec 2017, 23:48
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